It has happened once again. Due to the vagaries of our lives, I have been sundered from Rafe for far too long. This is, in fact, the longest we have been separated in our time together. It has been a torment – and not of the pleasurable variety we so enjoy.
But soon, so very soon, we will be reunited.
I will be back in the arms of my lover.
And in the service of my master.
Under his spell.
Subject to his will, abandoning my own.
I am a woman of both passion and reason. There is so much of this lifestyle that my logical brain cannot reconcile. As I have shared before, I grew up in a conservative culture. I had only vague notions of this world, assimilated from television or movies. I could see the appeal of being bound. I had even fantasized about it. But the exchange of power, the pursuance of pain didn’t make sense. Despite beginning to accept its place in my life, the rational part of my being still struggles with the reality that my soul should covet bondage and submission. Professionally I seek independence and control. Sexually I choose to give power over to another. In day-to-day life, I try to avoid things that might cause pain. In erotic life, I find agony arousing. The dichotomy confounds ratiocination.
But there is one part that makes complete sense.
Rafe and I have spent too much time apart. But during this time, my cherished master has had time to think, to explore, to plan. He has designs for me, intentions at which he has only hinted. And this thrills me.
I know what it’s like to truly be a thing just there to be fucked. Little more than a hole to shove a dick in – and to be told, essentially, that I wasn’t even good at that, and it was my fault. I’ve experienced the depressingly dull, almost nonexistent sex life, one where my desires and needs were meaningless. It’s a sad, lonely, dismal place to spend years of one’s life.
So to have a partner who is thoughtful, who ponders what terrible and delightful sensations he can induce, who turns his mind to how he can take his lover to new heights… That is beauty. That is love. That is … magic.
And that is a dominant. At least, it is my dominant, embodied by my darling Rafe. From the outside, it’s easy to believe that dominance is about taking what one wants. But a dominant gives as well. When I submit to my master, I become the center of his attention. His concentration and his effort are focused upon me. Even when I am not in his presence, I consume his thoughts; he considers the ways he can use me, yes, but also the ways he can arouse and delight me. When I surrender my will, my master cherishes the power I give. He honors the offering with deliberation over my longing and need. I know no greater privilege than to become the cynosure for my master and lover.
This is the part of the dynamic that logic can comprehend: surrendering myself to become the complete focus of the man I love.
I have been apart from my master for too long. But he has been dreaming designs for me. And so my devotion deepens.
– The Elegant Submissive